Last year, I went on a Caribbean cruise with my wife and her family. I had a great time, but the downside to seven days aboard a floating resort in sparkling blue water is that the Internet access is prohibitively expensive: during that week, I was completely offline for the first time since my family first signed up with AOL in 1997, and this made me realize that I rely on search engines to answer the questions that life raises far more than I suspected. I’m sure that, to my wife, “Offline Chris” seems much less knowledgable than “Online Chris.”

Presented below without comment is a list of searches I would have performed if I could have; I don’t think it will be turned into one of those Google commercials any time soon, but it’s a pretty concise summary of our trip. See if you can infer anything about our trip; post your guesses in the comments.

• define:Kirschwasser
• How many people on Carnival Valor
• define:vichyssoise
• How many people have tattoos?
• Capital of Belize
• Denver channel 4 anchor
• How to get cork out of bottle
• Anteater bite
• Tetracycline
• Treat infection
• Capuchin monkey
• 10 knots in mi/hr
• BWI cayman
• Honduras ca
• iTunes hey baby
• Satellite Internet speeds
• Office webisodes
• Jack Welch
• iTunes Brand New Day
• Convert KW to HP